Issue of September 19, 2026

Headlines

Alternatives to milk are losing moomentum

Business · Alternatives to milk are losing moomentum

“Moo” meets “momentum” — a five-star bovine portmanteau for an article about dairy’s comeback against oat and almond pretenders.

●●●●●

---

A British tea party

Britain · A big-state prime minister meets a small-minded British public

Bagehot column on a British public revolting against higher taxes. “Tea party” simultaneously invokes the most British ritual imaginable and America’s anti-tax movement — whose backronym was “taxed enough already.”

●●●●○

---

Don’t fear the inheritocracy

By Invitation · Don’t fear the inheritocracy

Portmanteau of “inheritance” and “aristocracy” — and a nod to the Blue Öyster Cult classic — for an essay arguing the Great Wealth Transfer is less dynastically threatening than it sounds.

●●●●○

---

Bond markets aren’t just running a temperature

By Invitation · Bond markets aren’t just running a temperature

Directly rebutting Scott Bessent’s claim that bond markets have a “fever” — the headline says no, this isn’t a passing illness, it’s structural. Medical metaphor weaponised against the Treasury secretary.

●●●○○

---

Alt-milks turn sour

Business · Alternatives to milk are losing moomentum

The subheading on the same dairy article. Milk literally turns sour; so has the alt-milk business. Simple, elegant, does two jobs at once.

●●●●○

---

Buried in the text

British voters prefer the asses in Devon to the asses in Westminster

Britain · There is too little money in British politics, not too much

After noting the Donkey Sanctuary receives more donations than all major parties combined, the leader deploys “asses” — the zoological term for equines in Devon and the colloquial one for politicians at Westminster.

●●●●●

---

Mr Trump has tried to beef up supply

The World This Week · Economic data, commodities and markets

In a passage about record-high ground-beef prices, the article notes Trump “tried to beef up supply.” The idiom is perfectly literal here — he is, in fact, trying to increase the supply of beef.

●●●●○

---

The write stuff

Culture · Is it still worthwhile to teach cursive in school?

The cursive article’s closing line wonders if schools are teaching children “the write stuff” — a homophone swap of “right” for “write” in Tom Wolfe’s title. Old pun, but it lands here.

●●●●○

---

This trial has therefore been voided

Business · Sleep like a pro

Bartleby’s mock memo on a workplace sleep programme reports that excessive magnesium doses acted as a laxative, so the trial was “voided.” The clinical term for cancelling a trial meets the gastroenterological one.

●●●●○

---

A “special electoral operation”

Europe · Russia’s sham election is descending into farce

Russians are calling the Duma vote a “special electoral operation” — echoing Putin’s euphemism for the invasion of Ukraine. Dark, pitch-perfect, and coined by the Russian public rather than the Economist.

●●●●○

---

Not so much “Life on Earth” as “Life in Earth”

Culture · The world’s most essential habitat does not get its proper due

Suggesting Attenborough’s next documentary about soil should swap one preposition in his famous title. A tiny change — “on” to “in” — that reframes an entire genre.

●●●○○

---

We should definitely sleep on it

Business · Sleep like a pro

Bartleby’s final line recommending the company “sleep on it” before expanding the sleep programme further. The idiom meaning “delay a decision” meets its literal subject.

●●●○○

---