Issue
Issue of March 7, 2026
Headlines
Breeding Eunicorns
Business · At last, reasons to be cheerful about European tech
EU + unicorn = Eunicorn. The continent finally has something to breed besides regulations.
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Hell and Mined Waters
Finance & Economics · The nightmare war scenario is becoming reality in energy markets
“Hell and high water,” but the water is mined and the resources are too. Three-for-one.
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Until the Pips Squeak
Science & Technology · A basket of new fruit varieties is coming your way
The old Treasury threat about squeezing taxpayers, repurposed for literal fruit seeds.
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The Spring Snorecast
Britain · Rachel Reeves’s economic update might have appeared boring
Forecast → snorecast. The Spring Statement was apparently uneventful.
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Fear Stalks the Länd
Europe · Why one of Germany’s richest regions is gripped with anxiety
Baden-Württemberg rebranded itself as “The Länd.” Now the Länd is afraid.
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Hedge Funds
Britain · Why the British government is spending more on hedgerows
Funds. For hedges. The headline is the entire joke and it knows it.
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Gut Feelings
Science & Technology · Faecal transplants — a treatment for bipolar disorder?
Your gut feelings may be more literal than you thought.
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Resistance Assistants
Europe · Meet the weekend warriors preparing to defend Europe from Russia
Part-time resistance fighters. The résistance has a helpdesk now.
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Lab-Grown Optimism
China · China hopes IVF can slow its baby bust
Lab-grown usually modifies meat. Here it’s babies. And the optimism itself.
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Scream When You’re Winning
The Americas · Javier Milei aggressively celebrates a string of successes
Most people scream when losing. Milei screams regardless.
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Buried in the text
”For a tiny monkey, he certainly packs a Punch”
Culture · Punch, a young Japanese macaque, has hit a nerve
The closing line. The monkey is named Punch. They held this one for the kicker.
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“the mayor, however, doesn’t give a dam”
Culture · Triumph of the toons: how animation came to rule the box office
A review of a film about beavers. Beavers build dams.
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“fight tooth and claw”
Culture · Triumph of the toons: how animation came to rule the box office
“Tooth and nail” adapted for beavers. In the same paragraph as the dam line. Double hit.
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“It’s a great idea to work with animals and children”
Culture · Triumph of the toons: how animation came to rule the box office
The closing line inverts W.C. Fields’s famous warning to never work with animals or children.
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“most working groups produce better results than carrier groups”
Europe · In times of chaos, Europe is the muddled power the world needs
A reply to mockery of European “working groups.” Working groups vs. aircraft carrier groups.
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“Cough Up, Prince John”
By Invitation · The Economist is wrong on the Robin Hood state
A reader demands The Economist pay its dues, Robin Hood–style.
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“there is something to be said for a power that prefers rule books to rockets”
Europe · In times of chaos, Europe is the muddled power the world needs
The closing line of Charlemagne. Rulebooks vs. rockets. Alliterative and quietly damning.
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